Learning to cope with homesickness

It's been a while since my last blog!  We had a  great Christmas and New Year.  I was amazed that my son mopped the kitchen floor (twice!) and hoovered out my car - previously unheard of! All with his broken hand, of course - therein lies another saga!
It was lovely to have him home and to meet some of his army mates!
He was able to recharge his batteries, chill out with his 'civvy' friends and not have any structure to his time at home.
Since he returned to training he has been very homesick and the weekend we had snow he was devastated not to be able to come home.  Homesickness is such a terrible feeling - you think that coming home will make it better, but instead it makes it worse. 
He has been working out very hard and on top of his army PT he has been running in excess of 20 miles per week - he's trying to get a mile and a half in under 9 and a half minutes! Wow!
My son has lost loads of weight and his new jeans are already falling off him.
He came home last weekend and it was great to see him - we were snuggling in bed just like we used to when he was tiny, drinking tea (or 'a brew' as he now calls it!)  I was holding his hand and all of a sudden I found myself dissolved in tears.
'What's the matter, Mum?' he asked.  How can I explain that I am storing up memories of him, the simple every day things that we do together - just in case I ever need them, to remember how wonderful my life is with him in it?  How much I love holding his hand, breathing in his scent and just chatting about the ordinary stuff.  He wouldn't understand.  Maybe it's only when you are a parent you learn. 
I asked a friend yesterday what is the greatest thing about being a dad. He answered that it is the unconditional love you have for your children.
Last week someone who had been close to me, died suddenly, before his time.  It just makes you realise how precious each day is.  How precious children are.  How we are not in control of our coming and going.  Of life..... and of death.
Last week I listened to Woman's Hour - to the story of Christina Schmid’s husband Staff Sergeant Olaf Schmid. Olaf was killed while attempting to defuse a bomb in Helmand province on October 31 last year. He was just 24 hours from flying home on leave. During a grueling, five-month tour, he had risked his life daily as a bomb disposal officer and had made safe a total 64 devices in the region.  It was a harrowing story which made me realise again how dangerous this career path is that my son has chosen but how proud I am to be his mother. Read the story here.  Or listen to the interview.
So here's to a new year, to hope and to good times ahead - plenty of them.